Making the Connections
by please-make-me-smile
Summary: When Mitchie Torres was summoned forth to babysit an 8 year old boy called Frankie by his mother, Mrs Denise Gray, she didn’t make the connections until she opened the door one night to his 19 year old brother Shane Gray, lead singer of Connect 3.
1. Introduction

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Camp Rock, the franchise or the idea for anything except this story. **

***Rated T for some drug reference and usage**

**The story as follows is always in Mitchie's POV unless specifically stated otherwise**

**Introduction:**

* * *

'Here's to working life.' I laughed, clinking glasses with Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy. I stretched out, feeling the grass tickling my bare thighs as I lay flat on my back, savouring the pungency of the Coke. If only, if only. If only I were 5 years older that would be wine.

'Mitch, strictly speaking, we'll probably only be earning about 10 dollars an hour.' Peggy smiled wanly. 'And that's charges for possible diaper changing, cleaning, and taking care of little boogers from the ages of 2-11.'

'Maybe.' I shrugged. 'But think about it, you guys. At this rate we'll have enough money to buy a car for all four of us to share when we get back to school. We can pool our money and take turns driving and plus, there's so many desperate parents in this neighbourhood just looking for a way to get some alone time.' I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. 'Plus, Caitlyn, those ads were gold. We'll have offers flooding in in no time-' I was cut off by my phone blasting the Cuppycake song at full volume. I smiled at them. 'What did I tell you? The first of many.' Pressing the speaker button, I motioned to them to be quiet and put on my 'official' accent. 'Hello, Mitchie Torres speaking.'

'Oh, good, I have the right number.' A sunny laugh filled the air. 'Hello, my name is Denise Gray...I'm sorry to bother you at such short notice, but you came recommended to me by a friend, Mrs Lisa Applebaum?' Oh yeah, Mrs Applebaum. I babysitted her holy terror Madison from time to time. 'She gave you the highest of ratings, and my husband and I have something coming up tomorrow evening. My sons are out as well, so I was wondering if you could possibly take care of my Frankie? He's 8, going on 9...I guarantee he won't be too much trouble.'

'Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.' I smiled as the girls began to chatter excitedly. Hello, Hummer. 'Around what time?'

'7 to 11, if that would be alright.' Her voice was pretty gentle. I had a good feeling about this one. 'The payment will range from 100 to 200 dollars an hour...if you require we'll up that, but-' Shocked, Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy trailed out, their faces white.

'Oh, no no...that'll be fine thank you, Mrs Gray.' I said, hopefully not sounding too eager.

She rattled out her address. 'My son Shane should be home a little early...please feel free to leave if he does turn up on time.'

'Of course, Mrs Gray. Thanks so much.'

'No, thank you, Mitchie.' She said. 'Bye bye, now.'

I heard the dialling tone, and then screeches.

'$100 SMACKAROOS AN HOUR?' Caitlyn danced up and down. 'ARE YOU KIDDING?'

'Nope.' I grinned. 'Purple Hummer, here we come.'

* * *


	2. 1

**3 story alerts already-you guys are the best, but can we try and explain why the stories are alerted with a review? ^^ *hint hint* **

**Chapter One**

* * *

Considering the sole reason I was taking up this babysitting gig was to buy a car, it went unsaid that I didn't actually have one yet. So on the pleasantly _boiling _walk to the Gray's, I began to ponder several things.

There wasn't anybody in or around our neighbourhood who was or had ever been a convicted paedophile-_that_ I was sure of. But the fact that the Grays were willing to pay me so much money for such minimal babysitting made me wonder-were they simply generous, or was this kid going to be _that _bad?

And then I took into account the street name that I was given and let out a long, low whistle. Sunset Drive. Only seriously loaded people lived in Sunset Drive- I was sure that the whole of my house _and _my backyard would make up the size of a kitchen in a Sunset Drive house. It was a gated community too, and I had even heard that some tweenie star like Hannah Montana lived there, or maybe it was Chad Dylan Cooper. I was never sure.

I felt horribly underdressed-I was babysitting and probably going to end up with bits of paint and playdough stuck in my clothes, under my fingernails, all up in my hair-but the Gray's house was easily the biggest on the street, and the most modern, with floodlights and a semicircular drive swept around to allow space for five or six cars.

The thing that intimidated me most were the bodyguards at the gates. Bodyguards? Why the extra caution, I mean, I was a sixteen year old girl with a not-yet-fully-developed-chest and an overbite. Jeez, Denise, give me some credit here.

A big one eyed me dubiously as I gave him my name and announced myself as the babysitter.

'Oh really? We'll just see about that, won't we?' He smirked. I frowned a little as he picked up a _real walkie talkie_ (like one the FBI would use) and spoke into it. 'Yeah, I've got a girl here, Ritchie Torres, 12-13, says she's the babysitter?' He eyed me up and down and I scoffed. _12-13?_

'Um, hello? I'm sixteen, actually, and my name is Mitchie Torres?' Goodbye manners, hello 'tude.

Judging by the loud 'OH' of relief through the walkie talkie, I was accepted as a creature of safety and allowed through under the watchful eye of the Big Guy.

And then the door miraculously opened, and a small woman looking stunning in an evening dress made of pale blue silk and a wide smile allowed me in.

'Oh hi, Mitchie!' She gushed. 'I'm Denise.' She said, shaking my hand a _little _too enthusiastically.

'Um...hi, I'm Mitchie.' I said, a little overwhelmed by her warm reception.

'Oh, I'm so glad you made it! Ok, Frankie has already eaten, but if you like you can order pizza, emergency numbers are up on the fridge and-oh! Bedtime is 9.30 sharp, and Shane should arrive around 10.30. I trust you not to abuse your position, Mitchie.' She said, her eyes twinkling.

'Ok, um...yeah, thanks Mrs Gray.' I said, a little confused but nonetheless happy.

'What's this Mrs Gray nonsense? Call me Denise, honey. And help yourself to anything you like!' She said cheerfully, as a short man came down the stairs. 'Oh, Paul!' She said, rushing over to him. 'Paul, this is Mitchie, the new babysitter.'

'How do you do, Mitchie?' He said politely, shaking my hand as they departed.

'Thanks again, Mitchie!' Denise called over her shoulder.

The door closed, and there was silence all except for the roar of a TV from time to time. I crept into the living room and saw a small boy sitting with his eyes glued to the screen.

'Hey Frankie.' I gathered all the cheer in my body up and thrust it away with that one sentiment.

He turned around, and I resisted the urge not to _aww_ straight away. As well as some seriously sticky-up hair, he had big eyes, long eyelashes (that seemed to give me the impression that he was secretly Bambi) and a cute button nose. What's more was, he looked so familiar that it hurt. Literally. It hurt, because I was twisting my finger around the wrong way trying to figure out just who the hell he was.

'Hi.' He said shyly, turning the TV off and standing up straight. 'Are you the new babysitter?'

I nodded, smiling. 'I'm Mitchie.'

'I'm Frankie.' He said softly. He suddenly ran up to me, throwing his arms around my waist and I laughed, hugging him back. 'Will you be my friend?' He asked.

'Of course I will.' I straightened up. 'Anything you want to do now, buddy?'

'Go Fish?' He suggested, whipping out a pack of cards from nowhere.

'You're on.'

Go Fish had progressed into Fish for Gumballs (in the candy jar) which had turned into Gumball Fight. Frankie had subsequently declared that he wanted to watch Homeward Bound, and since it had still only been 8.45, I let him.

It was now 9.15 and after I had run around the bottom floor of the house picking up loose gumballs, we were both immersed in Chance's story when the doorbell rang. Frankie stayed glued to the set and I frowned.

'That's weird...' Nobody should've been home until 10.30. Armed with a handful of gumballs, I tiptoed to the front door, and peeked through the hole where all I could see was the top of a black ski hat.

I pressed up against the door, breathing heavily. Who wore a ski hat in summer?

A robber. Robber!

Ok. Either I grabbed Frankie and we hid...or I fended him off.

Which way to go, Mitchie? Which way to go...

One...two...three.

I opened the door with a flourish, aiming gumballs with amazing precision at the dude's head. Instantaneously, he brought his arms up to shield himself.

'Hey, ow, what're you-ow...hey, _ow, _stop it!' He grabbed my arms and I gasped.

'Don't touch me you...bas-' I trailed away as he brought his incredulous gaze up to meet mine. My breath hitched in my throat as I stared into two beautifully shiny ochre eyes, surrounded by an expanse of smooth honey coloured skin. There was a tiny nick above his nose, and a smattering of moles on his neck, but as he pulled his hat off, there was no mistaking it.

'..tard.' I finished the word as my cheeks went red.

I had just gumballed Shane Gray, boy wonder.

* * *

**And it's you  
The light changes when you're in the room  
Oh, it's you  
-It's You, Michelle Branch**


	3. 2

**18 Story alerts**

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**Today's chapter took up 5 full pages of Word-I would really appreciate if you could just keep the reviews coming ^^ **

**And the banner link is on my profile...it was hurried ^^**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

My finger throbbed relentlessly as I sat on the bar stool facing a kitchen counter, placing an ice pack to Shane Gray's head.

_Now _I knew why Frankie looked so familiar.

_Now _I knew why I was told not to abuse my position.

_Now _I knew why 'Mr Ritchie Torres' was so cautious...although I'd never forgive him for the whole 12-13 thing.

Promptly after I had gabbled endless apologies, met with gruff 'don't worry about it' s from a disgruntled Shane, we walked in to find Frankie crashed out on the couch, with Chance the dog yapping away on the screen. That's when I noticed Shane's rapidly swelling bumps and led him into the kitchen, still apologising.

I was Mitchie Cool.

I was _so fired. _

'Does it still hurt?' I asked delicately, as he winced.

'Little bit.' His eyes met mine again, and my stomach flipped. Of _course _I found him attractive. I wasn't a _total_ idiot, y'know.

'I'm so sorry.' The apology fell from my lips automatically, and he chuckled.

'I said it's fine. I can bear the pain...and it's good to know Frankie's so _well protected._' He sniggered.

'I resent that.' I said hotly. 'You're lucky it wasn't vegetable knives.'

He laughed out loud. 'Yeah...I'm sure.'

I guess I still looked really upset. Up for some awkward conversation, anybody?

'Hey...it's ok.' He said, pushing my hair back from where it had fallen demurely in front of my face. 'Honestly, I'm fine. Nothing can really ruin a face this gorgeous...I had stitches last summer for running into a wall.'

I tittered. 'Running into a wall?' I repeated, stifling a full-fledged scream of laughter. And I thought I was stupid. Well, I was...but not as stupid as this guy.

'Hey. At least I find better defence mechanisms than sugary treats, alright Torres?'

Yeah, somewhere along the line I'd dropped my name...I'd drop my clothes too, if I had no self restraint.

'Yeah....' I checked my watch. 'Hey, I should probably get going.'

'Ok.' He seemed apathetic to whatever the decision. 'Oh, wait.' He reached into his wallet, and I had a good mind to ask if the reason he was so tall on TV was because he stood on it for extra support. Seriously, that thing was probably half my weight with all the cha-ching dripping down from it. 'Here.' He pressed a few crumpled bills into my hand and stashed it away. 'You've been here for...3 and a half hours, right?'

'Yeah...' I said, almost keeling over from the shock of seeing all that money. Together. Money wasn't really an issue in my house, but all the same....we had just enough to do what we needed with a little left over. 'And that's the way it should be,' my mother would preach.

Then again, there was even a little more with the absence of the fourth person of our household. But I'd give all the money in the world to fill that gap with that familiar face again.

'You alright?' Shane waved a hand in front of my face, and I fell back down to Earth.

'Huh? Yeah. What? I'm...gonna go...' I was beetroot girl again, and as I reached out to shake his hand, he took it, and then pulled me in for a hug.

Surprised, I inhaled the spicy scent of his cologne, and the sweet smell of his hair.

'We're huggers.' He explained, smiling as he walked me out to the gates.

'You don't have to do that...' I said, suddenly bashful as he waved.

'I'm a gentleman.' He smirked, as he retreated into the house.

I hugged myself all the way home, because I could still smell that unidentifiable spice on my arms and chest.

* * *

'Mitchie! _Mija_...you have a call, honey!' Mom was shaking me awake. I rubbed my eyes, shaking my head as my hair flew out around me.

'Tell them to take a message.' I groaned, rolling over and stuffing my head in the pillow. Mom in a good mood was a horrible thing to wake up to.

'Shane, she's still kind of asleep...can I take a mess-'

'NO!' I screamed, bouncing off the bed and grabbing the phone. 'Shane, are you there?'

He was laughing uncontrollably. 'Yeah...yeah, I'm here.'

'Um...'

His laughter faded out and we resided for a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, the forte of human nature.

'So...how did you get my number?'

Small talk just got smaller.

'Oh...er...I noticed my Mom had written it down and...stuck it on the fridge. You see, Mom and Dad had another meeting with the label...a lunch which will probably turn into dinner...Nate and Jason are out with their girlfriends...so....I'm alone with Frankie and I was wondering if-if y'know...you'd like to um...to come babysit with me. I mean, you don't have to, but-'

I thought it was cute how he was getting all flustered.

'Sure.' I said, cutting him off.

'I mean...yeah, I know it's a bad-yes?' He asked.

'Yes.' I giggled.

'Oh...great, um...be there as...y'know...whenever you want. Late, Mitchie.' He signed off nonchalantly as I headed for the bathroom, getting ready to deep condition my roots.

An hour later, I was plucked, blow-dried and exfoliated within an inch of my life, but I had to say that I looked pretty damn good...and still don't-care-ish, a pale cardigan over a fancy top and some clean jeans...my Vans kind of ruined the whole 'I put myself together' look, but I had no time to hunt for shoes, and no patience to walk in heels. Vans took me everywhere quickly, but I hoped I hadn't walked quickly enough for my hair to stick to my lip gloss.

And when the door to the Gray house opened, I felt like drooling, because even in shoulder pads and a helmet Shane Gray looked like _sex. _

'Oh...hey Mitchie.' He laughed uneasily. 'Frankie and I were just playing some sock hockey.'

Which would explain the cute pink socks on his feet.

He shut the door, blushing as he removed his helmet.

'Mitchie!' Out of nowhere, a small force torpedoed into my stomach, and I let out a soft groan as he barrelled into my skin.

'Hey Frank...don't do that.' Shane hissed.

'No, it's ok.' I laughed. 'Hey, Frankie.'

'Will you play Fishing for Gumballs with me again? That was so-o fun! I tried to teach Shane but he _sucks_...' Frankie said, his enthusiasm going out and re-igniting like a wavering flame.

'Sounds great, Frank. Why don't you go watch TV for a little while...Mitchie and I will talk, and then we'll play your game, ok?'

I couldn't help but notice Frankie's face fall several storeys as he trudged away despondently.

'So...um...when you go back to school, would you honestly like to say that you've been inside Shane Gray's bedroom?' Shane smirked.

'Um...' I blushed at how wrong it sounded, and suddenly so did he.

'Not that way.'

'I figured. No, I'm just scared I'll die from the stench.' I teased. He poked me in the side and led me up the stairs.

Wow...if this guy didn't wear a ring I'd be scared. But then again, wasn't he supposed to be dating somebody gorgeous like that chick from 10 000BC? I mean, I'm as straight as a ruler but she is _hot._

'Et voila!' He threw the door open with a flourish, and I took in the pale blue walls and the cream blinds, the several posters of bands I actually liked, Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab, Jack's Mannequin....and one massive one of himself, but...what're you gonna do?

'Wow...' I felt around theatrically for any living creatures. '...hmm....I'm not dead. Impressive, Gray.' I laughed, straightening up as he rolled his eyes.

I sat down gingerly on the blue comforter covering the _expanse _of his bed. Seriously, that puppy was _huge. _

'Ow...' I yelped, getting back up again and rubbing my butt before I realised what I was doing and cringed. 'Sorry...I guess I just sat on something...' I reached under the spread and pulled out a tiny book. It was A5, marbled cover, just about big enough to write something. I actually had one like this at home, and I used it to draft my songs sometimes.

Yeah, dream big. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be a lot of things.

'Oooh...' My eyes grew wide as I opened it. He leapt in front of me, grabbing it with surprising force.

'No!' He yelped.

'No?' I repeated innocently.

He blushed. 'Sorry..it's just...I...um...' He trailed away. 'It's my song book.' He explained. 'I don't really let anyone read it except Nate sometimes.'

'You write songs?' My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and vague interest. 'I thought Nate was the lyricist mostly.'

He shrugged. 'My songs are all too dark and complex to publish.' He grinned, signalling to the posters on his walls. 'As you can see...I'm influenced by many people not deemed appropriate by the label.'

'Hm.' I got up, circling the room. 'Jack's Mannequin is pretty kick-ass.'

'I've met them.' He said smugly.

'Show-off.' I muttered. And then had a brainwave, my eyes fixed on the book in his hand. Advancing towards him, I peered into his eyes in this _really _disturbing way that Caitlyn taught me and when he wasn't looking I stole the book, thumbing through it.

As well as his own lyrics, it had some from what I presumed were his favourite songs.

'This is easy as lovers go, so don't complicate it by hesitating.' I quoted, smiling. And then I turned to a song titled Alive.

'"Tonight is alive with things we didn't see before....everything I'm searching for is standing right here." Did you write this?' I asked, getting excited. 'Oh my God, Shane, it's amazing!' I gushed. 'So what are you thinking for the chorus, hook it back on the guitar and then repeating that line over, maybe something like a coda but the AxB AxB being a continuation in the background as you go AxC, AxD-' My musical enthusiasm was kicking in.

'Whoa, calm...' He said, smirking. 'You write songs?'

'Do I ever?' I muttered sarcastically. My songbook would be hidden under my science/French/maths books consistently pissing my teachers off.

'What about?' He leaned against the wall, looking at me.

I felt numb. Icy cold all over. I had the odd song about myself, but the rest were too personal to describe. The smile faded and I hugged myself, suddenly cold even in the middle of July, a new interest taken in Shane's floorboards.

'Mitchie? A-are you ok?' He asked uncertainly.

When I dared to look at him again, there were tears in my eyes.

* * *

**This is as easy as lovers go  
****So don't complicate it by  
****Hesitating  
-As Lovers Go, Dashboard Confessional**


	4. 3

**You guys are OFFICIALLY the best. I haven't quite finished counting all the faves and story alerts etc. Yet but when I get there....when I get there I'll be around 40. Lol! I wuv you in a very non-romantic way. **

**PEACE!!!**

**;)**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

'Mitchie....I-...you can talk to me.' He said.

I could tell he didn't exactly have experience in dealing with crying girls, and I also registered that today was our second meeting. He was getting in way too deep, deeper than some of my closest friends had ever dared to go.

Treading dangerous waters.

'You don't want to go there, Shane.' I mumbled. 'I come with a lot of emotional baggage. Hell, I'm like the warehouse of Heathrow airport.' I smiled weakly at my own bad joke.

'Don't you think that's for me to decide?' He smiled back, handing me a clean tissue. I dabbed delicately at my cheeks as he motioned to me to sit down on the now hopefully notebook free bed.

'I...um....when I was 6, my mom gave birth to a little boy. His name was Daniel...he was the cutest thing.' The corners of my mouth upturned waveringly as I recalled his baby blue eyes, damp skin and hair like cotton wool surrounding his head. 'I...God, I loved him so much, I'd watch him every day and be there for everything my mom did for him...he was so beautiful.' Fresh tears leaked out of my eyes, and suddenly I was dimly aware of the fact that Shane's hand was resting on the small of my back. 'But when he was eight...he got sick. Leukaemia, the doctors said. He was so tiny and fragile...he wouldn't have lasted the year. Two months, they gave him. He lasted three...he gave us hope for a while.' My voice was dwindling away. 'We buried him December 2007.' My voice cracked.

'Oh Mitch...' Mitch. A nickname. I had a nickname from Shane. 'I'm so sorry...' He said, hugging me warmly. I could smell that cologne again, and I noticed that this hug was longer, more intense.

'That's why I got into babysitting. Because I used to take care of him so much...' I started. 'And then Frankie's so sweet...he would be a couple of years younger than Daniel if Daniel were still alive.' I sobbed.

A dam of emotion burst open. I hoped it wasn't flooding Shane.

It was true. Writing was my relief therapy....well, my newest form. I hoped to dear God that neither Shane, nor Frankie or even anybody from the Gray family found out about the old one. The one that ensured I'd probably never get famous.

My track record wasn't the cleanest.

'Well...you know what I find helps me when I'm down?' He asked, his arm still around my waist.

Sniffle-'what?'-sniffle.

'...making cookies, then icing them with random stuff.'

'I do like cookies.' I said, a grin spreading slowly across my face.

'Then why are we sitting here when we could be eating cookies?' He yelped, springing up and grabbing my hand.

* * *

I didn't know what was more disturbing-the fact that the first thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen was a pair of fluffy oven mitts with puppet fingers, or the fact that instead of belonging to Frankie like I had assumed, they were _Shane's. _

And as we iced the cookies, and then each other's faces, I began to relax into this. Shane had revealed that he had trusted me because I seemed 'real', though I wasn't sure how real he'd consider me if he ever found out what I had participated in not too long ago. And our small talk became big talk, swapping random, unnecessary facts.

'So what was your first kiss like? Not the whole 'I got pecked in the sandbox in kindergarten' thing, the real deal, like 'oh my God, he _totally_ tastes like Twinkies and Coke.' Shane grinned, and I raised my eyebrows.

'I do not feel at liberty to discuss that information with you, Mr Gray. Especially since it was nachos and Coke, not Twinkies.'

'Oh, sick!' Shane burst into raucous peals of laughter before I picked a glob of icing up in my hand and aimed it at his face.

Remember my amazing precision from the Gumball incident?

He stopped straight away, standing there with a deadpan expression before pointing his tongue out and licking it up. 'That's not half bad, Torres. That's not bad at all.'

'Really? You want some more?'

I went in for the kill. Pulling his jeans out as far as I could get them (not very far) I picked up the spoon from the bowl of icing and tipped it down his pants.

'Oh my God.' He said, staring at the soggy bulge at the bottom. I cracked up, because...well, it looked _enticing _to say the least. 'Ew, Mitch! You're lucky I'm too much of a gentleman to-'

'You mean too chicken?'

'No. Don't even play that card on me.' He said, advancing towards me.

I clucked quietly, then crescendoed with amazing speed as he ran after me, trailing pink icing through the house.

Unfortunately for me, he caught me at the bottom of the stairs, and dogpiled me.

'What happened to too much of a gentleman?' I smirked, as he sat astride my stomach. 'Jesus, you're heavy.'

'Well...desperate times, desperate measures.' He smiled sweetly, and leaned in.

Oh God, no. Please, no. Oh _shit, _don't let him kiss me, don't let him kiss me.

It's not that I wasn't into him. I totally was. But dating him would mean I had to share everything and I mean _everything _with him. Including the big secret.

A kiss sealed the deal. What kind of ass would just kiss a girl and then run off?

Not Shane. I knew that for a fact.

'Shane.' A small voice interrupted Shane's advance, and we turned.

Thank God for Frankie Gray.

I pushed Shane off of me, wiping the icing off my clothes as he straightened up, blushing.

'Hey, Frank.'

'...you said you'd play with me.' Frankie stated.

'...in a minute, Frank. Mitchie and I have some stuff to talk about.' Shane looked at me. It wasn't a 'let's pick up from where we left off' kind of look. It was more a 'what the fuck was that?' look.

Let me state again, we'd known each other for a grand equivalent of....let's see....carry the one....minus those indices....oh yeah, _16 hours._

'No, now! You already talked to her! She's my babysitter!' Frankie yelled.

'Franklin, just give us some space!' Shane fumed.

'I hate you!' He screamed, running upstairs.

Shane stood there, shell-shocked. I had heard in every radio interview possible how close-knit the Grays were, and I knew it wasn't a phrase commonly tossed around.

'Shit!' Shane yelled, kicking the wall.

It was also common knowledge that Shane had had anger management problems.

Not that I was worried about that. Kick the wall all you want, Shane, but touch me and I'll go WWE Smackdown on your ass.

'...I'll go talk to him.'

'No, it's-' He protested.

'To be honest...I think you're the last person he wants to see right now.' I said gently.

He nodded.

I took a deep breath, walking up the stairs.

* * *

**Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait  
Where were you, where were you  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me  
-You Found Me, the Fray**


	5. IMPORTANT

**IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CHAPTER 3, GO READ IT THEN COME BACK HERE.**

**...since author notes aren't strictly allowed, I apologise in advance. **

**So basically, there's this amazing author on the archive called KiteDancer. **

**She is immense. She writes the absolute **_**best**_** stories I have ever read, puts so much detail and hard work into them, and she has about 121 visits on her stories and like....wait for it....five reviews.**

**Now trust me when I say that I am not taking this out on you guys, but...WTF? At least thirty more reviews are deserved there-and I want you to help me. And I know that since my last (milder) attempt didn't work on you, I have to be mean. And I don't like being mean. **

**Even if this loses me like 50 readers, I am giving you an ultimatum. Please go and review on KiteDancer's stories, or I am not posting as frequently, if I post at all. But for good intentions, I promise you. Somebody whose story deserves way more credit than mine is not getting it, and I don't think this is fair. **

**But I'll give you a reward. For each review she gets on her story, I will add one more paragraph to my next chapter. Let's say the base chapter is around...5 paragraphs. If she gets one, I'll up that to 6, 2, I'll up it to 7 and so on. **

**But please help justice prevail. I know you guys like seeing good things happen. Everybody does, and for you fellow sadists out there....even we have a heart, right?**

**-please-make-me-smile.**


	6. 4

**Ok, so KiteDancer's stories have gotten about 12 or 13 reviews in that one DAY!**

**You guys are seriously immense. I love you, you're the most epic readers on the PLANET. Thanks for all the reviews on KiteDancer's story, peoples! And thanks for all the reviews on mine too ^^ keep 'em coming on both!! **

**A new and very long chapter for you ******

**Chapter Four****:**

* * *

'Frankie?'

His carpet was littered with several figurines, an assortment of my childhood heroes including the teenage mutant ninja turtles, the mighty morphin power rangers and even a tiny Pikachu. What can I say, Barbies weren't among my interests.

'Go away.' He mumbled, his shoulders heaving slightly as I closed the door and took in the bright blue of the walls. I had guessed that this was his room by the giant red letters bearing the word 'FRANKLIN' against the white wood. That and the crying noises.

'Oh, Frankie...' I sat on the edge of his bed, resting my hand on his shoulder gently. 'Don't cry.'

He turned around and instantaneously my arm went around his shoulders. A flashback in my mind proved that Daniel used to resume this same position whenever he scraped his knee or had a monster nosebleed or felt ill. Ironically, the day he chose not to cry was when he learned he was going to die. His reaction was frostily calm, as if he was holding in some kind of anger, and later, when I lay next to him in our garden stargazing, he told me that it wasn't fair.

I'm not sure what I had said to reassure him. And I wasn't sure now what to say to Frankie. In my experience, he was at an age and a circumstance where he wasn't used to not having everybody's undivided attention, and this didn't by any calculation make him spoilt but simply as normal as his lifestyle would allow him to be. And there I'd been with Shane, totally ignoring him. I couldn't help it.

'...you promised to play with me.' He mumbled against my side. 'You and Shane, and you played with me yesterday! But now all Shane wants to do is make kissy-face with you, and you're _my _babysitter. You're supposed to hang out with me, _not _him.'

In spite of the predicament, a smile graced my face. I enjoyed the thought of kissy-face with Shane very much. What I _didn't _enjoy was the implication of what might happen afterwards.

'You're right, Frankie. I'm so sorry. I promise to play with you now and-hey! Shane and I were making cupcakes; do you want to help us?'

He looked very earnest, tears clinging to the edges of his spiky eyelashes.

'If you promise...' He murmured.

'If I promise what?'

'If you promise you and Shane won't make googoo eyes at each other all the time.'

I gave him a hug. 'I promise. Now, do you think you might owe Shane an apology? He's very upset that you told him you hate him.'

'But I do sometimes.' Frankie protested.

'Frankie, being angry with somebody and hating them are two different things altogether. You love your brother very much, but you got angry at him and that's okay as long as you make up afterwards.'

He sighed. 'I guess you're right.' He slid off the bed, his feet safely touching the ground before he scampered down the stairs at top speed. Not wanting to ruin their little moment together, I contented myself with eavesdropping behind the stair railings where they couldn't see me.

'...I'm sorry.' From a glimpse through the wood, I caught a mess of dark hair and lighter hair all bundled together, and I guessed that they were hugging. Aww...brotherly love. '...I don't hate you. I was just mad.' Frankie explained.

'I know, little guy, and I'm sorry.'

'I'm still mad at you, though.'

'I know...' Shane sighed, and I sensed something deeper.

'I told you _I _got dibs, and then you kissed her! '

'Almost kissed her, Frank.' Shane corrected him, and I raised an eyebrow. Since when did an eight year old get dibs on me? 'And I'm sorry...but don't you think she's a little old for you?'

Frankie shook his head vehemently. 'No! She came and talked to me and she said she wouldn't make googoo eyes at you when we were making cupcakes and she'd talk to me too!'

I had said that.

Shane smiled wanly. '...ok, little guy. I really am sorry.' He ruffled his hair. 'Did Mitchie put you up to this?'

'What?'

'Apologising?'

Frankie blushed and scuffed the floor with his trainers. 'Maybe...but I really do mean it.'

'Ok.' Shane kissed the top of Frankie's head and put an arm around him.

'But you like her, don't you?' Frankie asked sullenly. 'That's why you almost kissed her.'

Yes...golden information. Whether it really was the heat of the moment or Shane's real feelings, even though we'd only met yesterday.

'Well, you see-'

My phone suddenly blew up with my ever annoying ringtone. Caitlyn had locked it on and I had no idea how to change it.

'I'VE GOT A FRIEND, MY FRIEND LOVES ME, MY FRIEND WANTS TO TALK TO ME, YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YOU AIN'T GOT NO FRIENDS LIKE THIS-'

Shit! I was totally busted!

I answered it quickly as footsteps began to thud up the stairs.

'Argh...Peggy...not now!' I hissed.

'But Mitchie, wait! Tess Tyler is-'

'Tess Tyler?' My brain boiled at the reminder of that name. I had been having such a good summer too....

Tess Tyler was the creator of the 'Bitchie Mitchie' vendetta, using me as a target for her pointed rage from kindergarten to high school because I wouldn't give her a cookie when I was 5. Hey, just because she was TJ Tyler's daughter did _not _mean she deserved the chocolatey goodness.

'Um...Peggy, I'll call you back later....' I stammered, snapping the phone shut as I came face to face with an amused Shane.

'Eavesdropping, are we Miss Mitchie?' He grinned, holding out a hand for me to get up off my knees. With great reluctance, I took it and crossed my arms.

'No...I was um...getting a better connection here.' I signalled vaguely to the area around me.

'As opposed to everywhere else where you'd get more than three bars?' He said, picking the phone up.

'Yes.' I was using my intellect here, people!

He dropped the subject with a twinkle of his eyes. 'Did I just hear you say Tess Tyler?'

I nodded, rolling my eyes.

'As in...TJ Tyler's daughter?'

Oh, well then, obviously they knew each other. TJ Tyler was like Madonna but ten times more slutty.

'Yeah.' I sighed.

'...oh...may I ask why you hate her as much as your face says you do?' He joked, and I raised an eyebrow.

'Because she's an evil ice bitch who makes my life a living hell.' I smiled sweetly. 'Nothing major.'

'....oh....' He blushed.

'What?'

'Huh? Nothing.'

He was being increasingly agitated by the situation, his face turning red, but I figured that if I was keeping something from him, he had license to keep this from me. We weren't all that close. Just two days and an almost kiss, that was all.

* * *

For the next two weeks, I lived off of the cupcakes Shane, Frankie and I had iced (that being when I wasn't at their house) and I noticed that when my babysitting services were required, either Shane would be home early or he would just 'decide' not to go out at all.

My Mom, having found out about my whole babysitting gig and starry new friendship with the rockstar, was thrilled that I was actually opening up after the whole 'unfortunate incident' (she referred to it like it was me cheating on a math test-not that I'd ever done that, but what I'd done would probably take cheating on 200 math tests to even get close to.) Today, she'd just finished baking her peanut butter snap cookies, and advised me to take some to the Gray household as they were all supposed to be out at some 'label luncheon' as Denise so adequately put it.

I knocked delicately on the front door, cookies in the box tucked under my arm as I rocked back and forth on my heels, and was greeted by Nate Gray, who instead of giving me so much as a 'hi', pointed excitedly to my box.

'Are those cookies?' He asked, his eyes shining.

'Er...' I opened the box and he took six, scampering off. Good thing there were so many...although I was pretty sure that he was diabetic and eating six cookies was not a good idea.

As I stepped inside, I guessed that they weren't quite ready yet by the mad dashing around, and as Jason hurtled over the banisters, forgoing the actual stairs, he waved cheerily and took a cookie.

What was I, the muffin man?

Well, the cookie man, but the same general idea.

'Hi Mitchie, so nice to meet you!' He called over his shoulder, and darted into another room.

'JASON! WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?' Unmistakeably Shane, and my prediction was correct as he flew down the stairs, knotting a tie around his neck. 'Hey Mitchie!' He said, his eyes lighting up as he took a cookie and ran after Jason.

'Of course, help yourself!' I muttered sarcastically before one sane voice calmed my mind.

'Mitchie!' Frankie wrapped his arms around my legs. 'Can I have a cookie?'

'Sure you can, little man.' I said, offering him the box. He took one and chewed it adorably.

The doorbell rang, and Frankie's eyes widened.

'What?'

'It's her!!' Frankie hissed.

'Who?'

'Shane's girlfriend!'

My stomach dropped and my heart plummeted. Shane had a girlfriend?

But he had almost kissed me!

A girlfriend?

Somebody gorgeous, no doubt.

'Seriously?'

My cheeks were burning as I searched Frankie's face for hint of a joke. Was today April 1st? No...no, it was the middle of summer vacation. And by Frankie's sad face and the unmistakeable hint of fear flashing through his eyes, I knew he was telling the truth.

'...yeah. She wants to be there with Shane for the new album release.' He said, dropping his gaze to the floor.

So what the fuck was Shane doing? Leading me on? Or was that unanswered question the other day proof that it really was the heat of the moment?

And what about Shane and Frankie's discussion?

_Breathe, Mitchie. In and out, out and in, in and out, inhale, exhale._

I opened the door uncertainly, and stifled a gasp.

Perfectly manicured nails, an expensive dress, silver heels, glitzy jewellery, sunglasses perched on top of blonde hair...

'Mitchie?' Tess Tyler's face contorted into an expression of extreme disgust.

I was screwed.

I was so screwed.

Because not only was Shane's girlfriend the school bully I had told him was an ice bitch, but she knew my secret. She knew what I'd done, most of the school knew after one final debacle at the end of year dance and her lips curled into a smirk because she knew what I was thinking.

Shane didn't know.

Shane didn't know what I'd done.

And Tess was surely going to tell him, simply because she hated me.

I clutched my hair as Shane came out, having found some socks. He stopped short as he saw Tess and I staring each other out, and bit his lip.

'Mitchie, I was going to-'

I couldn't hear what he was saying. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see anything.

'So Cocaine Torres is your brother's new babysitter?'

I was dead.

* * *

**But are you leading on me on  
Or is there something behind it?  
Well I don't know but I mean to find out  
Is there something you're hiding?  
Oh are you leading me on  
Look are you having me at it  
Well I don't know but I mean to find out  
Come on are you are you leading me on?**

**-Are you leading me on?-The General Public**

* * *

**So I don't generally post author's notes at the end of chapters, but THAT should give you a hint about Mitchie's secret. Just remember that since her brother died, she tried all kinds of 'relief therapy' methods. **

**Anything and everything. **

**And what about Shane and his bipolarity?.....**

**FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER! Dun dun dunnnn....:P**

**P.S-Mitchie's ringtone---is actually mine too. :) I have no ringtone originality. **


	7. 5

**WE'RE PAST THE 50 REVIEW MARK, PEOPLE!! This is epic!!! **

**Love you lots ^^**

**WARNING: This chapter is kind of shit. Sorry, but I had a lot of trouble writing it :( I'm not really a serious person, so I'm better with happy than sad. That's no excuse, however. **

**Chapter Five**

* * *

'_C'mon, Mitchie. Stop being such a stiff, try it.' He shrugged, handing me the powder. _

'_....should I?' I turned to Ella. _

_She shook her head._

'_...it takes all the hurt away, Mitchie.' The boy put an arm around my shoulders, offering it to me. 'All of the hurt.'_

_Hurt. It took all of the hurt away? _

'_I need it.' I said, desperately. _

'_Mitchie, I-I don't think-'_

_I inhaled and let out a sigh of contentment. An inexplicable feeling was coursing through my blood at that very minute and I realised that at some nameless 14__th__ birthday party I had been dragged to; I had taken my first hit. The first of many. _

I woke up in a cold sweat, shaking in my bed. It was as if the feeling I got after a hit was alive, but eating my bone marrow up. All I could see the first time was stars. Times after that, it was Daniel's face.

I closed my eyes as sweat trickled down my forehead, clutching the bed sheets as the memories of this afternoon came alive in my mind.

'_Cocaine Torres? What're you talking about?' Shane smirked, like she was crazy. If only he knew. _

'_...oh, you know. Mitchie the druggie?' Tess flicked her hair casually as she giggled, and then caught sight of our faces with a fake 'oh' of realisation. 'Oh, she didn't tell you? Mitchie's more into bong hits than babies...I'm pretty shocked that you let her near Frankie, considering-'_

'_Tess.' Was it a beg, or a plea? Or was it a warning? _

'_Mitchie, I'm just concerned for my boyfriend's brother's safety! You can understand that, can't you?' _

_Her big blue eyes were all innocence. _

_I bit my lip, searching Shane's face. It was blank, his fists clenched as he stared me out. _

'_Shane?' _

_My voice was cracked and splintery, much like I imagined Tess' heart was. He closed his eyes, as if in pain. _

'_...I think you should leave, Mitchie.' _

_He didn't need to tell me twice. He didn't even need to tell me once. I was out of there the minute he opened his mouth, thanking God my trusty Vans were torpedoing me up the street. _

I let out a choked sob, whimpering as I buried my face in my duvet, my shoulders heaving as I reached for my phone. 11.42pm, it read, the blue glow casting light onto my face.

_Call us anytime, Mitchie. _

Dialling the numbers with shaky fingers, I breathed raggedly, hoping for an answer, shutting my eyes so tightly I could feel blood beating in my eyelids.

'Hello?' The voice was bright, bouncy. It needed to suffer with me. That's what best friends were for.

'Caitlyn?' I whimpered. 'He knows.'

* * *

Caitlyn's arm was circling my shoulders protectively as Peggy lay on her stomach, biting her lip. Ella contented herself with playing with my hair as I told them the whole story, start to finish, every detail in. They were well aware of whom I was babysitting, but they didn't know the half of it. And when I finished the part about my run-in with Tess, Caitlyn let out an angry hiss.

'So he kissed you and then decided to reveal that he has a girlfriend?' Her fists were clenched tightly, her knuckles so white they looked like paper. I hung my head as Peggy patted my knee consolingly.

'And Tess Tyler too, for that matter?' Ella cut in. She shook her head. 'It's not right.'

'Nobody's judging you for what you did, Mitchie. It was wrong but it was partly us.' Peggy said, sighing.

'Yeah...I mean, if I hadn't made you go to that party...' Ella started.

'If we hadn't forced you to socialise...' Caitlyn put in.

'If we hadn't pushed further to get you to stop...' Peggy said falteringly.

I wanted it to be as easy as putting the blame on somebody else, but I knew that in the end it came down to me. I shook my head decisively.

'It was me. I was just hurting so badly...and when the guy said it would take the hurt away I thought...'

'Mitchie, he was 17, you were 14. Nobody can blame you for getting influenced.'

'But cocaine...' I said.

'It's in the past. The important thing is that you try to forget about Shane.'

'How can I?' I said, humbly. 'With what went down, I don't doubt that I'll never get a babysitting gig again.'

* * *

It was hard to sleep with what was going on in my brain, but Caitlyn, Peggy and Ella managed easily. I bit my lip, wedged in between Peggy and Ella as I was taken into a reverie by the reminder of the final instance, the final happening, the one where Tess Tyler found out, where she proceeded to tell everybody.

'_Mitchie...Jesus, Mitchie!' Caitlyn's fingers grabbed the bud from me. 'You told us you stopped!'_

_Behind her, Peggy and Ella shook their heads. _

'_We're not giving up on you, we're not leaving you out to dry! You need to stop this.'_

'_I-I can't!!' I sobbed, falling to my knees. _

'_Why?' She gripped my shoulders. 'Why not? It's cocaine, Mitchie! Do you know what the hell you're doing? You're killing yourself! It's not what Daniel would've wanted!'_

'_How the fuck do you know that? He wouldn't want me to be hurt! It's taking the hurt away!'_

'_No, Mitchie.' Peggy shook her head. 'It's just postponing the hurt. But if it carries on, it's going to make it worse.'_

_I took in her calm eyes, her stance, her soothing words. Caitlyn's fury was melting into tears, slipping down her cheeks, and Ella's hand covered her mouth, afraid for me. _

_I was making them afraid. _

_My eyes travelled from the bud to their faces to the bud again. _

'_You need help.' Caitlyn said, defeated. 'Stop, Mitchie. We'll help you stop, we'll be there.'_

'_...st-stop?' I stuttered. _

'_And we'll be there to help you.' Ella added. 'We promise we'll be behind you, but the cocaine-'_

'_Will make a good story for the local newspaper.'_

_We hadn't even noticed her, but there she was, blonde head bobbing as she walked out of the stall, her hair sleek, her dress perfect. I looked at her with contempt from red-rimmed eyes._

'_Can't you see it now?' Tess spoke with a smirk on her face, rinsing her hands with the lavender soap. 'Good-girl Torres is a coke addict?' She laughed, tossing her hair behind her shoulder as she applied lip gloss. 'For what possible reason? She's a screw up.' She popped the p, capping her bottle as she thrust it back into her purse. _

'_Tess....' Was it a beg, or a plea? Or was it a warning? _

'_I'm saying it for the safety of the student body, and as future student body president, I think it would be fulfilling my soon-to-be-duties.' She smiled sweetly. 'Happy coking.'_

My brain whirled with the several insults thrust at me, the silence that had overtaken the dance when I finally walked out, my pride shattered but with new found hope trickling from a small well in my brain telling me I could, would and should do better. But I had had Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy by my side and even though they were referred to as the coker's friends for months afterwards, they never gave up, their lips set in thin lines of determination. I felt for this reason if not anything else I had to try and finally, mere weeks before we broke up for the summer, I was totally over it. As over it as I could get, and nothing but extremes would even make me consider going back to it.

So why was I considering it now?

Morning came too quickly, quickly enough for Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy to hug me tightly and tell me not to worry, and I let them leave with a depression in the bottom of my stomach and my heart almost palpitating as I checked my phone and found a new message from Mrs Denise, as I had taken to calling her in dual forms of respect and friendship. I couldn't bear to think of how disappointed she would've been when Shane inevitably told her what he now knew, though he knew none of the details yet. But in the two weeks we had built our friendship up on, I thought I owed it to him as a sort of farewell to let him know that what I had done was a mistake. It was human.

After listening to my message, a simple statement with a hint of sadness thrust among the words saying 'Your services won't be required any longer, so thank you for all the help and you might want to come pick up your final cheque,' I thought I could deliver a letter with my arrival for it. Whether or not it would actually be read was the million dollar question.

And so, sitting at my desk I wrote on paper headed with the slogan 'Connie's Catering-we cater for your tummies to have a party!' Ironically cheery.

How did I start? Dear Shane, Dearest Shane, My Dear Shane.....

_Shane. _

_I made a mistake. Don't tell me that you've never made one before, even though it was never as screwy as mine._

_When I took my first hit, it was for Daniel._

I continued, writing about the dance and Tess and my life and Tess and how babysitting Frankie had reminded me of Daniel and Tess, and how I'd never want to hurt Frankie and finally, how I'd never wanted to hurt Shane himself too.

_So trust me when I say that I'm trying to change now, and it's difficult but I might be getting over the phase of my life where I was convinced that taking the hurt away lay in the form of white powder. And what Tess saw was real, but she didn't know the back story. And I owed it to you to let you know. _

_I changed to stop hurting my friends, to stop hurting my family, but now reliving the past is hurting them again, and it's hurting me and it's hurting you and I want you to know that the past is all it's ever going to be. I'll always be confused about you, whether we'll ever be friends again or something more and whether that kiss was going to change anything and why it almost happened in the first place. _

_You probably hate me now, but I'll never hate you. I don't blame you for giving up on me, but I wish you'd wanted to hear all else first. I thought you knew me well enough to know that I didn't just do things for the hell of doing them. I was honest with you that day up in your room. I'm being honest with you now when I tell you I felt something for you and I still do, but that's shot to pieces because of assumptions and circumstances and of course my general pain in the ass problem, Tess. _

_Tell Frankie I'm sorry. Or don't tell him anything at all. He'll get over me, maybe. _

_Looking forward to the future, _

_Mitchie. _

I guessed that would have to do.

* * *

**You've gotta swim  
Swim for your life  
Swim for the music that saves you  
When you're not so sure you'll survive  
-Swim, Jack's Mannequin**


	8. 6

**OVER 70 REVIEWS?! YOU GUYS ARE RIDDICALUSSS(ever seen that videoy'know...the back o' yo' head is riddicalusssss?) I L-O-V-...SOMETHING YOU!!!**

**Chapter 6:**

* * *

I should have guessed that Mrs Denise would be the one to hand it over.

Her face was saddened as I turned up, her eyes sparkling with tears threatening to fall as her lower lip trembled slightly.

'I'm so sorry, Mitchie.' She spoke delicately. She wasn't irritated, just upset. I felt the same way.

'It's ok. It's my fault.' I mumbled, taking the cheque.

She hesitated. '...Shane is....he's heartbroken. I can't imagine what you did to each other over two weeks but it was something big.'

I shook my head. 'He had Tess. He _has _Tess.'

'No, Mitchie.' Mrs Denise shook her head softly. 'He isn't in any form interested in Tess. The label demanded that he and Tess date to bring Connect 3 publicity-after all, they would be directly affiliated with TJ Tyler. It's not an arrangement we're _happy _with, but-'

My head reeled with images.

Shane's face as he told me he could explain.

Tess' smug smirk.

"_My boyfriend's brother._"

And of course Frankie wouldn't have understood.

'Oh my God...' I muttered softly. I turned to Mrs Denise again. 'I'll never get to explain anything to him, unless....' I remembered the letter in my pocket and took a deep breath in. 'Mrs D-..Gray...I know it's asking a lot, but this letter...I wrote this letter to get it to Shane somehow, and...' I trailed away as she realised what I was saying.

She smiled weakly. 'Mitchie...I-I don't know if I can. Shane is...if you saw him....' She let out a breath. 'I just don't want him to be hurt again.'

'He won't be hurt.' I reassured her. 'No more than I already am.'

I stared at the floor. It wasn't going to make it to Shane. It would spend it's life in a dumpster somewhere between this house and mine.

There was a gentle tugging on the object in my hands. 'I'll see what I can do.'

My heart started beating with hope and I managed to upturn the corners of my mouth long enough to get the equivalent of a smile. 'Thank you, Mrs Gray.'

She nodded graciously in return, and I returned home, rejuvenated with a slight glimmer of hope.

* * *

That night, I lay in bed tossing and turning, wondering if Shane had read the letter, or simply tossed it aside or binned it because he didn't believe I had anything of value to say.

He knew me, almost as well as my best friends. A little bit longer and I would've considered him one of my best friends, really and truly. But then again, we had been open with each other on almost every detail, so what compelled me to keep that from him was an idea that at most, damaged him.

'_My worst relationship? It was...mm....let's see....ah, Taylor Swift, hands down.' He smirked. _

_I shook my head, laughing. _

'_Well? What about you?'_

'_Um...' My cheeks reddened. 'I guess it was....well, this boy in the 7__th__ grade, Paulie Torres. I guess the only reason I went out with him was because if we married each other I wouldn't have to change my last name.'_

A fat tear squeezed out of my eye, followed by many others as I closed my eyes, succumbing to a heavy sleep.

'_Deepest, darkest secret....' He scratched his head. 'Tough one. Oh, ok, no, I've got one. At one of the Disney mixers, somebody spiked the fruit punch and I got so smashed that I swung my shirt over my head while dancing on top of tables and singing totally inappropriate feminist songs. You?'_

_I froze, not knowing what to say. _

'_Daniel.'_

* * *

It felt like an eternity, like I was wading through water in the heaviest, most non-waterproof clothes in the world, but in reality it was only 5 weeks into summer vacation. I did nothing more than sleep, and occasionally eat, politely resisting all attempts made by Caitlyn, Peggy and Ella to mollify me enough to get me out of my house. My mother tried everything too, fabricating family outings, baking cookies to at least get me to come out of my room, but I didn't budge. I lost weight, and the rings under my eyes were darker than ever.

'Mitchie..'

'_Mitchie_...'

'**Mitchie**...'

People's voices were starting to annoy me. There was only one voice I wanted to hear, smooth and jovial and beautiful like it's owner. I had no idea what to think, what to say, because I'd never felt this way before.

'_Like a spring, the beginnings of all things are small._' I remembered this snippet of wisdom from my grandmother (yes, the rubber duck one.)

So why did that pop into my head?

A babysitting gig-small.

Shane and I meeting-a little bigger.

Shane and I becoming friends-bigger still.

Me falling in love with Shane-the spring of the summer.

Saying it or at least thinking it didn't faze me nearly as much as I thought it would. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle-there was always a Daniel shaped hole in my heart, but slowly, Frankie and Shane had filled it up and I was thankful for that.

Even though I'd probably never see Shane again.

* * *

I didn't know what compelled me to do it, but my parents, cautious as ever about leaving me home, had departed to a friend's house for dinner one night, and since drugs were out of the question, I turned to my father's alcohol cabinet. There was nothing in there but a Grey Goose, to me a sign, the colour reflecting my emotion and the name relating to Shane. I unscrewed the top, chugging half the bottle down in one fluid motion. It tasted awful, hideous, but it made me feel a little happier for myself ,wandering around the house, singing my own lyrics and making them up when I couldn't remember them. This wasn't to say I'd ever become alcoholic, but for now it was a good enough substitute for Shane.

Speaking of Shane....where was he?

I picked up my phone, scrolling to his number and called it, unaware of what I was doing.

_The person whose number you have dialled is not available to answer your call. Please leave a message after the tone. _

'Shane!' I slurred, a sing-song tone to my voice. 'Hi, Shane!! Remember me? The royal fuck-up?' I giggled drunkenly. '...I love you, man. I'm sorry I was such a douche....y'know? It wasn't even _pot _or anything...._coke. _Kinda like the drink...yeah? We said we liked Pepsi better....hey....why the _fuck _is it called grey goose? Haha....Gray....like you! And me....' I mumbled, the phone slipping out of my grasp with an almighty thud.  
When I stirred in the morning, I honestly had no recollection of what I'd done apart from handing in the letter that day. But I realised I probably could have given it a better ending than looking forward to the future. I wanted Shane _now._

* * *

**And I miss you and the things you do  
The time we had, the good and bad  
The day we met that I can't forget  
Signed Sincerely, Me  
-Sincerely, Me-Better than Ezra**


	9. IMPORTANTagain

Ok, I'm sorry to post a random chapter here, but I have something to say.

Basically, you know my epically epic friend KiteDancer, the one with amazing stories? She's getting flamed by some idiot called Jonzey. For those of you who don't know what flaming is-it's NEGATIVE reviews with NO constructive criticism whatsoever. Jonzey's throwing around accusations saying KiteDancer doesn't know her characters well and that he/she is sick of people fabricating love between Sonny and Chad and that the story isn't very well thought out.

Hold up, back up and REWIND FOR A SECOND.

The POINT of fanfiction is that you take existing characters, put your own twist on them and make it YOUR FREAKING STORY. I don't know what the hell you're doing on this site, Jonzey, but a) you're too chicken to get a REAL account that people can report you on, and b) the whole point of fanfiction is to do what you think you want to do, not basically write a synopsis of a real episode. I'm SORRY to get so angry but WTFBBQ? He/She's basically saying that EVERYTHING ABOUT FANFICTION is what she's sick of-this is what EVERYBODY does, so don't be picking on my mate just because you're jelly, ok? I'll make a freaking Shane and BROWN fanfiction if I want to, and there's nothing you can do about it! How can you penalise someone for writing a CHAD AND SONNY FANFIC?!

Grr. I'm sorry again for just ranting, but like I said....GRR.

This is the review, if you want to read it:

Jonzey  
2009-08-29 . chapter 5

**This story depressed me a bit to much.  
No offense, but you didn't portray the characters very well. They should be at least based off of what Disney says about them.  
For one thing, I am sick of people constantly imagining them as hopelessly in love with each other, because they're not. In fact, they won't admit their feelings for a long time, and it would never happen like this.  
I know this is fanfiction, but really,show that you understand the characters a little better!**

Dude...I don't like being [too] mean, but screw you!!!


	10. 7

**Guys, it's the penultimate (word stolen from KiteDancer-lolz :P teehee) chapter, which means after this there's just an epilogue. **

**Surprises, surprises. **

**Over 90 reviews. Oh. My. Fricking. God. **

**LOVE Y'ALL.**

**Chapter 7:**

* * *

I didn't really expect what happened the next morning.

As per usual, Mom was catering for some early morning wedding, and Dad was working his shift down at the store, so the house was quiet. I contented myself with watching I Love Lucy re-runs.

'_Lucy, I'm home!'_

The doorbell rang. Frowning, I rubbed my bleary eyes; my head banging from effects that I presumed came from the empty vodka bottle lying next to me in my room. Nobody was supposed to be home, but if it was another Jehovah's Witness, I was snappy enough to send them away with ease today.

I opened the door, and my jaw dropped.

'We need to talk about this.' Shane Gray gestured to the mobile phone in his hand.

* * *

'...you hungry?' He asked quietly. I shook my head as the silence of the cafe started to get to me. I poured myself a glass of water, trying to look apathetic to the whole sordid situation. Trying, and failing miserably.

He sighed, dropping the phone onto the table and removing his hat and sunglasses.

'What're you-'

'There's nobody here.' He said, pointedly. 'It doesn't matter.'

Well, the windows weren't glass.

I hung my head. 'What did I do now?'

I racked my brains but found nothing. No recollection of the events of last night whatsoever.

'...you don't know?' He asked, incredulously. He pressed a button on his phone and suddenly my voice filled the room.

'_We said we liked Pepsi better than coke...._' I cringed, embarrassed at my drunken stupor and turned it off.

'Oh....oh my God, I actually-'

'You were drunk.' He said, simply. His gentle eyes grew angry. 'For God's sake, Mitchie, you were _drunk._'

'Yeah, at least I wasn't stoned!' I argued back, and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

'What you did was wrong, ok? I trusted you with everything and you kept just about the biggest secret you could from me.' My gaze was fixated on the tiled flooring. 'But I read your letter and I guess I understand why you did it. I want to help you, Mitchie, I really do, but I can't if you act like this!'

'Like what?'

'You don't remember the rest of the letter?' He said, sardonically. 'The bit where you professed your feelings towards me and then proceeded to drink yourself into oblivion? Straight _vodka, _Mitchie?'

'Whatever.' I mumbled. 'It's not for you to be angry or worried about. As I recall, I'm fired.'

'No.' He said. 'You're dismissed for now, and I'm going to help you.'

'I'm over it, Shane!' I protested.

'You might be over drugs but you sure as hell aren't over Daniel.' He countered.

'Nobody's expecting me to be! He was my little brother, Shane!' Angry tears sprang to my eyes. 'What the hell are you doing here, Shane? Don't you have someplace to be, with Tess, maybe? There you are shitting on and on about how you trusted me with everything, do you think that maybe, just maybe you could've slipped in a little about Tess? After you _heard _me say stuff about her?'

'I was going to.' He protested. 'I know my Mom told you why I'm dating Tess, I know you know I feel the same way as you! But soon, to the public eye, she's going to be my girlfriend! And I'm sorry you didn't read enough tabloids to get the hint!' He spat.

'What hint?' I muttered. 'The one where you made it clear you weren't interested in me?'

'Wha-how does it even _get _to that, Mitchie? Of _course _I like you, you're gorgeous and fun to be with and you made a mistake, but I've made mistakes too!'

'Like Tess?' I asked.

He sighed. '...no, like asking you to leave that day without hearing your side of the story. Like not following you. Like not telling you how I felt in the first place.'

'How you felt?' I echoed.

'How I felt.' He confirmed, picking up my hand and rubbing slow circles on my palm.

'Which is....?' I continued.

'I like you a lot, Mitchie.' He said. 'For a while I thought I might even.....' His cheeks reddened. 'I-I might even love you.'

I closed my eyes. My previously drunken, drugged up self had never felt so _strange._ And _that _was strange in itself.

'But it can't happen.'

I came down from Cloud 9, past Earth, into the fiery depths of hell.

'Not after everything.' He continued, hastily. 'You-I've known you for almost two months, t-that's it. Tess is....I have to pretend to be with her. I can't be with her and date you in secret, and I can't trust myself to be with somebody as...unstable as you are right now. I've never dealt with it before, Mitchie. I-I'm sorry.' He said, ashamed. 'I'm a coward and I'm running from possibly the best thing that could happen to me, but I have to play it safe. I've been a risk-taker my whole life. I need to grow up. And that means knowing exactly what's best for me.'

'Which isn't me?' I asked, falteringly. A tear slid down my cheek.

He sighed, slumped in his chair. With this vulnerability, he looked more Frankie's age than mine.

'..I just don't know anymore.'

* * *

For a while, it felt like that was that. What exactly that little talk had straightened out, I had no idea. For me, anyway, it felt like there was more to be confused about. But it was like everybody around me had something to iron out the kinks with, and slowly, little by little, I boosted my confidence again.

I was out more, partying safe, staying away from drinks (especially the Grey Goose) and of course, the drugs. Caitlyn, Peggy, Ella-they were the adhesive to every part of me that felt scattered out across my bedroom floor, and though they still treated me with a sense of fragility, the gratitude they held for my final 'transformation' was immense.

Of course, I didn't talk to Shane anymore. I never read his texts, emails, scarce as they were. I avoided Connect 3's presence as best as possible, though this was difficult as they were evolving into more and more of a global phenomenon by the minute.

The thing that surprised me most was, when the time came for Shane to 'officially' announce Tess Tyler as his girlfriend, he didn't.

'I'm not dating Tess Tyler.' He said, to a crowd full of gasping reporters. 'That's a lie. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm not lying or covering my ass up any longer.'

Tess Tyler quickly became a laughing stock. For all the hype she'd created about her 'mega gorgeous amazing rockstar boyfriend,' people were sorely disappointed at Shane's statement. There were the odd few people that hung around her for minimal publicity-after all; it wasn't like TJ Tyler wasn't still famous.

And then the biggest surprise came-at 37 years old, my mother was expecting again. I was pretty surprised, considering the age difference between myself and the baby would be nearly 17 years, but got over it quickly. I prepared myself for the best and the worst, and anything in-between.

When I got back to school for the last year, Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy by my side, we drove in in a purple Hummer, and I still had some money left over. It turned out Mrs Denise's paycheck was more than sufficient for this purpose.

From time to time, I still thought about Shane Gray. I wasn't ever going to get over him, the same way I never got over Daniel, but maybe there were other things-like the new baby, or like other fish in the sea-that could make the connections in my life add up to a perfect circle of happiness.

**

* * *

**

**Speak to me, when all you got to keep us strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
-Move Along, the All-American Rejects.**


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

* * *

I had said goodbye to my hometown months ago, embracing the life of a Berklee college student as easily as I could. While I was far away from everybody, in Boston, I never lost contact. Mom sent me regular updates on herself and the catering business, Dad's store, and more recently, my sister Josie's new endeavours.

Scanning the latest of these updates whilst nursing a cup of coffee in Starbucks, I smiled faintly at the pictures of Josie and my mother covered in batter, jam and flour.

_Josie's thinking about the culinary career_, the caption read.

In several ways, I thanked God for giving me a little sister, because it meant that even if it felt like she was replacing Daniel, she was doing it in a different way. Daniel would forever and always be my little brother, and he wouldn't have to share that title with anybody else. But Josie was a person that I knew I would be able to confide in as she got older.

And in that way, she had replaced somebody else too. Caitlyn, Ella and Peggy, strewn out between schools in London, Singapore and closer to me in Maine, seldom had time to chat anymore, and that was okay, because one of my mother's pearls of wisdom told me not to reflect on people in the past, because there was always a reason why they wouldn't make it into my future. We still chatted from time to time, though.

Yet there was still one person from my past that had made it into my future, though I didn't expect the same honour on his part. Connect 3 were slowing down, with talks of Nate wanting to join college, Jason wanting to help run the admin side of Hollywood Records, and Shane doing....well, whatever he felt like doing. These rumours were yet to be confirmed, though they sounded realistic enough.

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear. _

I squinted, wondering if the caffeine was making me hallucinate. A familiar group of people had crowded into the cafe, trying not to attract too much attention in low key outfits and sunglasses.

I sipped my coffee uncertainly, flickering my eyes away, hoping to God that nobody would recognise me, but my hopes were dashed when the youngest and easily the smallest person in the crowd piped up.

'Hey...is that Mitchie?'

Slowly, the gazes travelled to me, and I bit my lip, staring into the depths of my cup. I saw the shoes travelling towards me first, and then looked up.

The dark figure standing in front of me, head cocked to one side as his eyes travelled up and down my figure in the most confused, yet elated sense, seemed too familiar for it to be true. He was clad in several forms of elusive clothing, Raybans, a hat and the most unusual thing-a trench coat in May.

Though if not for that reason, it was probably the smattering of beauty marks on his neck that made me do a double-take. And slowly, though it could have ruined all purpose of the full disguise, his sunglasses were unsheathed, revealing two beautiful, ochre eyes .

'Hey.' I said, with as much fake cheer as I could muster.

'...Mitchie.' He said, smiling slightly. 'Hi.'

We talked for somewhere around 5 minutes, small talk, not uncomfortable, not particularly interesting, until something snapped him out of it.

'Shane, we have to go!' A voice I could only identify as Nate's did a theatrical stage whisper, only just discernible over the babble of the people around us. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head, turning back to me.

'...I have to go, Mitchie. I'll see you around?' He asked, his eyes tranquil as he gulped gently.

I nodded. 'See you.'

I watched carefully as he walked away, surrounded by family. He was happy, and I guessed that I wouldn't have had it any other way.

As the door opened and they filed out, I noticed him stop and turn, his eyes meeting mine for the last time. I realised I probably wouldn't see him again, and that that was ok. He was doing fine without me, and I could honestly say that the aching feeling I thought I would get seeing him, the nostalgia I thought I would feel for our icing fights and for the kiss we almost shared, was all gone.

* * *

**You had your dreams, I had mine  
You had your fears I was fine  
Showed me what I couldn't find  
When two different worlds collide  
-Two Worlds Collide, Demi Lovato**

**~*THE END*~**

* * *

**Here it is, people. The last chapter. The end of an era, and the beginning of more things to come (I totally came up with that on my own, seriously!!! (:****) I love you guys, you amazing reviewers, you awesome readers, you great friends. Thank you to all of you who put your time and effort just to give this story even a onceover. I appreciate it greatly. **

**From the bottom of my heart, thank you, and this story is for you. **

**=please-make-me-smile ^^**


	12. IMPORTANT again again

**Ok, guys. **

**I've had a lot of questions about sequels and happy endings etc, and I understand that some of you were a little less than satisfied by the ending I had chosen. **

**The way I see it, I had two options there. Make the ending happy, or make it realistic. That's not to say they couldn't have gotten together, but the way it was travelling, they just kind of, sort of didn't. I had planned an even sadder epilogue than the one I posted, but I thought it would just kind of kill all you Smitchie supporters out there (99.99999% of you, thereabouts) and me too. **

**But I'd be a horrible author if I didn't tell you the truth-the way I've done the plot, there is ****not going to be a sequel.**** But I am working on another story, and I can guarantee you the way that turns out will satisfy you happy ending fans **_**and **_**make way for a sequel **_**and **_**possibly ****another.**** So stay tuned, dear readers. Have faith in my bumbling, love-killing self. **

**Thank you all for being amazing. **

**-please-make-me-smile**


	13. PLAGIARISM

**GUYS AND GALS OF FF!!!**

**I'm so sorry I haven't posted my new story yet-I've been working on it repeatedly, and deleting and editing and it SHOULD be up by Friday evening. I've also been swamped with work-YEAR NINE IS HARSH!!!**

**So have you ever heard of Seventeenforeverxoxo? She's a fan-freaking-tastic author, and she wrote The Other Gray, a personal favourite of mine. **

**WELL, it's been plagiarised. Word for word by an idiot called Ronaldinha. No joke. Go to Seventeenforeverxoxo's page and read chapter 1 of her story the Other Gray if you haven't already, then go HERE http://www. fanfiction. net/s/5371567/1/The_Other_Gray (without the spaces) and READ THE EXACT COPY.**

**It's even the same fucking TITLE. How unoriginal can some people get? And if you go to her profile you'll even see that she's had the audacity to put I WROTE THE OTHER GRAY, HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**

**I've reported the story, I've PMed Seventeenforeverxoxo, I hope she gets to know about it soon. Until then, PLEASE just bring this to as many people's attention as possible because it's SICK AND WRONG! I don't know if you've ever heard of the site jbffa, but apparently somebody plagiarised a whole BOOK by an author called Sarah Dessen, and the author HERSELF GOT TO KNOW ABOUT IT. I think the site might be shutting down and the owner sued or something, I'm not sure x_x.**

**Seventeenforeverxoxo obviously put so much hard work into that story, and it's not fair that somebody stupid is taking credit for it. I'm sorry again for bothering you with this, and I'm sorry I haven't yet posted my new story. Thanks again everybody. **

**-please-make-me-smile**


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